Work in progress!!
Quotes
Trauma is not something that happened to you, but it's something that happened inside you as a result of what happened to you. (Dr Gabor Maté)
Compulsive and automatic concern for the needs of others while ignoring your own is a major risk factor for chronic illness, (Dr Gabor Maté)
Your joy matters (Pat McCabe)
Show up as you truly are. We’re all in this together (Gina Perez-Baron)
When we heal our trauma, individually and collectively, we don’t just heal our bodies. By refusing to pass on the trauma we inherited, we help heal the world. (Resmaa Menakem)
Turn your wound into wisdom (Oprah Winfrey)
Compulsive and automatic concern for the needs of others while ignoring your own is a major risk factor for chronic illness, (Dr Gabor Maté)
Your joy matters (Pat McCabe)
Show up as you truly are. We’re all in this together (Gina Perez-Baron)
When we heal our trauma, individually and collectively, we don’t just heal our bodies. By refusing to pass on the trauma we inherited, we help heal the world. (Resmaa Menakem)
Turn your wound into wisdom (Oprah Winfrey)
About trauma
The result of trauma is that we become disconnected from ourselves. We may survive by becoming addicted (to food, work, alcohol, drugs, fitness, sport, shopping, etc.) or by shutting down. Shut-down responses can include trying to do too much or not responding to our body's needs,
Addiction is a rational survival response to unbearable circumstances. What our addiction gives us: satisfaction, relaxation, calm, comfort. All reasonable, positive things!
Bodies in a state of chronic stress see the world more negatively.
When we are calm, we see the world more optimistically - we smile, we play.
To reconnect to our bodies, we need to feel safe. Safety depends on connection. We can re-tune our body, which became dysregulated in childhood, not through our own fault, not through our parents' fault. But it is our responsibility to start the healing process. Healing from trauma happens in the body. It is not an intellectual process.
The body says no (when the mind can't) in the form of pain, nervousness, anxiety, muscle tension, mental or physical illness.
Adverse childhood experiences (ACE) can stay in our bodies as unprocessed trauma. Take the ACE quiz.
There is energy and wisdom in trauma. We can learn from it and decide to start the healing process.
Healing from trauma involves recognising that the nervous system is stuck, accepting and moving through pain.
Addiction is a rational survival response to unbearable circumstances. What our addiction gives us: satisfaction, relaxation, calm, comfort. All reasonable, positive things!
Bodies in a state of chronic stress see the world more negatively.
When we are calm, we see the world more optimistically - we smile, we play.
To reconnect to our bodies, we need to feel safe. Safety depends on connection. We can re-tune our body, which became dysregulated in childhood, not through our own fault, not through our parents' fault. But it is our responsibility to start the healing process. Healing from trauma happens in the body. It is not an intellectual process.
The body says no (when the mind can't) in the form of pain, nervousness, anxiety, muscle tension, mental or physical illness.
Adverse childhood experiences (ACE) can stay in our bodies as unprocessed trauma. Take the ACE quiz.
There is energy and wisdom in trauma. We can learn from it and decide to start the healing process.
Healing from trauma involves recognising that the nervous system is stuck, accepting and moving through pain.
3 types of trauma:
SHOCK TRAUMA (PTSD) results from feeling overwhelmed by one event, which is usually sudden and unexpected, has a distinct beginning and end and is over fairly quickly. Examples: war, natural disaster, terrorist attack.
DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA results from events that are so overwhelming to a child that his/her nervous system cannot mature in an age-appropriate manner. The disruption in his/her nervous system is often great enough to cause long-lasting changes and delays in her physical maturation, behaviour and capacity to think, handle emotions and socialise. Examples: near-death experience such as a choking incident, a high fever due to infection, being born prematurely, in-utero stress, eye surgery, dental work, lack of emotional attunement or emotional neglect (anxious, addicted, depressed, stressed or not emotionally present caregiver), being adopted, being sick and unwell, toxic home life, chocking, drowning, birth trauma, traumatic hospitalisation.
TRANSGENERATIONAL TRAUMA refers to symptoms and behaviors of trauma survival that are passed on from one generation to the next, who then might pass these on further down the family line.
DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA results from events that are so overwhelming to a child that his/her nervous system cannot mature in an age-appropriate manner. The disruption in his/her nervous system is often great enough to cause long-lasting changes and delays in her physical maturation, behaviour and capacity to think, handle emotions and socialise. Examples: near-death experience such as a choking incident, a high fever due to infection, being born prematurely, in-utero stress, eye surgery, dental work, lack of emotional attunement or emotional neglect (anxious, addicted, depressed, stressed or not emotionally present caregiver), being adopted, being sick and unwell, toxic home life, chocking, drowning, birth trauma, traumatic hospitalisation.
TRANSGENERATIONAL TRAUMA refers to symptoms and behaviors of trauma survival that are passed on from one generation to the next, who then might pass these on further down the family line.
What may be needed:
- reframing what happened to us - how we survived is a testament of our courage, resilience, resourcefulness
- self-compassion
- pausing our busy mind
- anchor ourselves to the present (here and now)
- noticing when we start ruminating about the past or worrying about the future
- keeping in touch with the physical word and our physical sensations - learning to transition smoothly between the outside world and our inner sensations (see interoception)
- being the quiet observer of our physical sensations/emotions (not judging or analysing)
- having the courage to want to be better
- discovering that we are much more brilliant, capable and resilient than we’ve given ourselves credit for
- nurturing ourselves through breathing, nature, music (see below), meditation, movement (this website!).
- You will once again relate from the body when you feel safe to do so. At your own pace, in your own time, with your own rules. This has sacred pacing and rhythm.
Healing from trauma: 5 anchors to help move through clean pain* (Resmaa Menaken)
- Soothe yourself to quiet your mind, calm your heart and settle your body (connect to something or someone you perceive as safe, soothing or pleasurable)
- Simply notice the sensations, vibrations and emotions in your body instead of reacting to them
- Accept the discomfort, and notice when it changes, instead of trying to flee from it (discomfort is a protective response)
- Stay present and in your body as you move through the unfolding experience, with all ambiguity and uncertainty, and respond from the best parts of yourself
- Safely discharge any energy that remains (walking, dancing, etc.)
Clean pain: is pain that mends and can build your capacity for growth. It's the pain you feel when you know what to say or do; when you really, really don't want to say or do it; and when you do it anyway, responding from the best parts of yourself.
Dirty pain: pain of avoidance, blame and denial. When people respond from their most wounded part, become cruel or violent, or run away physically or emotionally, they experience dirty pain and create more pain for themselves and others
My suggested five steps to healing by connection:
- Connect to the external environment through most or all of our five senses (sight, sound, touch, hearing, taste)
- Connect to our (outer) body in relation to the ground, to gravity and to its parts (lying down, sitting, standing)
- Connect to (inner) body sensations (breath, heartbeat, tension-holding habits in thighs, neck, shoulders, face, belly, pelvic floor, glutes, hands, feet, back) a few times a day, in different situations - to check how our body responds and to get more familiar with our inner world
- Accept/befriend any discomfort (stick with it) and monitor how it changes, with compassion, curiosity and playfulness
- Move through pain or discomfort by noticing that everything is rhythm and flow (walking, dancing, breathing, music, the seasons, flowers, trees, wildlife, blood, lymph, life itself)
Book recommendations |
- When the Body Says No by Gabor Maté
- A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle
- The Diamond Heart: Book One by Almaas.
- The Presence Process by Michael Brown
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk
- Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine
- The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller
- My Grandmother’s Hand by Resmaa Menakem
Shelter In Music ~ Releasing The Pressure Valve
Shelter In Music ~ Invisible Energies |
Emotion is energy in motion, waiting to be released.
Common areas that hold on to trapped sensations:
- Throat (often connected with needing to speak and be heard)
- Back of the eyes (often connected with tears, sadness)
- Jaw (often connected with anger)
- Chest/heart area (often connected with deep grief)
- Belly/stomach (often connected with gut knowing and avoiding it)
- Diaphragm/breath (often connected with fear and fright, helplessness, threat)
- Groin/perineum/genital area (often connected with power, or lack thereof)
When you start to PAUSE, SENSE and LOCATE where various sensations might be residing in your body, you start to harness the energy of those sensations.
Source: Irene Lyon, nervous system expert
Healing music
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